Friday, December 7, 2012

I'm back, and this time, I'm on a mission

I know I've neglected my blog, but holy crap, it's 5 in the morning and I haven't slept.  Maybe it's partly because I've been working from 4:30 pm to 4:30 am, and tonight is my night off, but it's mostly because I cannot clear my head, and I'm hoping this will help.  On very rare occasions I start thinking about things that I cannot get out of my head.  For some reason, this just won't leave me alone and I've been on the brink of tears off and on for the last 12 hours because it has got me so worked up.

Tonight was my night off, but I went in to do 6 hours of overtime.  Out of the blue I started thinking about my mother-in-law.  I have never met her, and I never will, and that pisses me off.  When my husband was 3 years old, his mother was killed by her boyfriend.  She was about 24 years old and was the mother of two small boys, my husband and his brother.  From what I've gathered from Cangrejo's grandmother, was that she had an argument with her boyfriend, and it ended when he beat her to death.  He then took her to the local hospital and left her lifeless body in a chair in the waiting room, and walked away.  As far as they know, he was never caught.  They don't know if the bastard lived or died.  It always bothers me when shit like this happens.  When someone has so much life ahead of them, and so much left to do, and then it gets taken away from them just like that.  She now has 3 (almost 4) granddaughters that will never have the pleasure of meeting her.  They will never know their abuela.  She didn't get to see her boys grow up into men and build lives for themselves and their families in the United States.  I've seen two pictures of her, and she was a hauntingly beautiful woman.  My husband has her eyes.  I like to imagine what she would be like.  I think she would love to laugh and joke with people, just like my husband.  I think that, just like both of her boys, would have a very short temper.  I like to think that she would give me a hard time for not being a very good cook and for stealing her Josesito from her, but I also like to believe that we would get along fairly well.

This all got me thinking about domestic violence and the negative impact that it has not only on the direct victims, but all of the people connected to them.  Then I thought about how many people I know that have been abused.  I have been.  It happened once.  An ex that I had drug me up the stairs at a hotel by my hair. I remember kicking and punching and biting him in all of the most sensitive areas, and he didn't even feel it because he was so high.  I know that people saw, and they did nothing.  Once I got away from him I locked myself in the room with two other girls.  I was crying and I told them what happened, and they didn't do anything to help me, didn't even act like they cared.  I still remember that feeling of complete helplessness and loneliness.  I also remember that when I drove away, I swore that I would never, EVER allow anyone to make me feel like that EVER again.

I wonder how many people (men and women) stay with someone that abuses them (whether it be physically or mentally) because they're scared to leave, or because they have children with that person, or because for one reason or another they think that they won't be able to make it on their own.  And how many people know someone that's in an abusive relationship, but they do nothing to help or reach out?  How many children will grow up without a parent because of this?  I think about all of the people my age or younger that grew up watching abuse, and the affect that it has on them.  Will they learn to hate it, like my husband has, or will they continue the cycle and abuse the people around them?

Last year Cangrejo and I were driving home from Salt Lake and decided to take the 'back roads' (aka not the freeway).  We were driving down a stretch of a road that's always pretty busy and we saw a car pulled over to the side.  I saw a man lifting his arm and then I saw it come down on a woman that was in the car.  I let myself get around the bend where we were out of sight before I pulled the car over and pulled out my cell phone to call 911.  I also had to hold my husband in the car, because he was about to get out and beat the shit out of the guy.  While I was talking to dispatch I did a u-turn and drove back towards the car so that I could give them a better description and location.  That's when I saw the little boy that was probably 4 or 5 years old.  By then, one other car and a motorcyclist had pulled over nearby, watching what was happening. The man noticed he was being watched and literally threw the little boy and the woman back into the back seat of the car and drove off.  We stayed with the other car and the motorcyclist tried to follow the car until the police showed up.  After 4 police cars were there and looking for them, my husband convinced me that we could go.  I was shaking, because I guess the adrenaline from the situation had worn off and I was in freak out mode.  For the rest of the drive home, and for the next 2 weeks, that woman and the little boy were stuck in my mind.  From time to time I still wonder if they caught the guy and if the woman and the little boy are safe.  I kick myself for not calling the police station to see if I could get any information about what happened after we left.

I've decided that I have to do something.  I haven't decided what that is yet, but people need to be more aware of the things that go on next door, or down the street, or to their friends, or family.  And people that have to put up with this bull shit need to know that it's okay to ask for help and they need to know what resources they have to get out of that type of situation, and if their aren't enough resources available, then by damn, there needs to be.  I'm going to do something, and it will be in the name of my mother-in-law, que en paz descanse.  If I only help one person, then I only help one person, but something has to be done and a difference has to be made.

All of that being said, suggestions are welcome.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Negative Butt

Husband: You have a nice butt.
Me: I have NO butt!
Husband: Yeah you do, I like it.
Me: I've never had a butt and since I've lost all this weight I have like negative butt.
Husband: You were always complaining about being fat and now that you've lost weight you just complain about where you lost it from.
Me: Cause I didn't need to lose any butt!
Husband: Whatever, I'm done complimenting you.
Me: What about my boobs?

I'm never satisfied.

Oh, and we're having another girl.  Pray for us, cause we're gonna need it.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I'm Not Dead

I'm very alive.  I know I haven't posted since uhh.....I don't remember, but are people really reading this shit anyways???  Whatever.  Anyways, a lot has happened.  Let's see....Isabel turned two, the husband left me for a while because I'm an idiot, I went on vacation to California to work things out with the husband, while there, we got pretty drunk and I got knocked up (don't worry, we had already decided that things were fixed), husband didn't want to go back to Utah, so I went home, got Isabel and all of our shit together and moved to San Jose, which is pretty much hell on earth for us, and now we're going to shimmy on over back to Utah because I've decided it's really not as bad as I've always thought it was.  *SIGH*.

That brings me to today.  I'm sitting here, with all my stuff packed counting the hours until I can get the hell out of here.  I'm almost 18 weeks pregnant (I'm pretty sure it's a boy)! But I have no fun ultrasound pics to show you because, as I implied, this place is freaking stupid and of the two "doctor" appointments that I've had, I still haven't had an ultrasound.  I have already talked to my OB/GYN's office in Utah, and they are getting me in as soon as possible.  (Oct. 4th, but if there's a chance they can get me in sooner they're going to call me.)  More on the crappy health care another day.  Tomorrow morning my mom is flying in and rescuing me, baby, and Isabel. We've already reserved a rental car and we're gonna haul ass back to Utah.  Cangrejo is going to stay for a couple weeks to finish up at his job, and then he'll be coming home to us.

So, that's what's up.  Expect more posts from me, because it's already cold in Utah and my pregnant ass won't have anything to do.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Throwback Thursday

Today I'm going to participate in Tara's Throwback Thursday from over at Me and the Mexican.  I've been thinking lately about how crazy things have been the last couple years and how many crazy twists and turns I've been through.  When thinking of something for today's post.........I logged on to Myspace for the first time in over a year looking for pictures.  Here's just 2 of literally 500 pictures that I found, and they were both taken probably within days of each other.

This is me and my best friend Daysy.  I don't know why, but we both went through this phase with bangs.  And that shirt I'm wearing?  It says "Hello, My Name Is: Gangsta"  Because I was.....obviously.

This one is the real kicker, and I'm really brave putting it up here, because I'm pretty sure that Cangrejo doesn't know this picture even exists.  I wanted to repaint my bedroom and since me and my girlfriends are a bunch of shorties, I called my two favorite guys at the time to help us tape the ceiling.  The guy on the bottom is Cangrejo, who is now my husband.  Back then he was just a friend.  The guy on his shoulders?  Yeah, that's Isabel's biological dad.  Crazy how shit works out.

Monday, March 19, 2012


So, I forgot to show you guys what I did a couple weeks ago.

Yeah.  I got a tattoo.  This picture was taken like an hour after I got it, so it's kind of red against my paper white skin.  Also, some of the red is blood stain, because apparently, I'm a bleeder.  

Also, it hurt like a bitch.  I don't know what's wrong with all those people that are like, "Oh, it doesn't hurt that bad, and after a few minutes your skin kind of goes numb so you don't really feel anything".  Bull shit.  Let me break down that sentence a little.

" doesn't hurt that bad..." - Uh.....yes, it freaking does.
"...after a few minutes your skin goes numb..." - No, it doesn't.
" don't really feel anything..." - Yeah, you do.  And anyone that says otherwise can rot in hell.

I have a pretty high pain tolerance, people, but I almost couldn't handle this.  I was sitting backwards on a folding chair, and I was gripping the back of it so hard that my fingers had turned completely white.  I was giving myself kind of a mental pep talk and trying some relaxation things I learned while I was in labor, but it was all in vain.  Cangrejo kept asking me if I was okay and telling me that I could stop if I wanted to, but when I start something, I finish it, damn it.  And I didn't cry because the guy said that he would charge me an extra twenty bucks if I did.

Now, don't worry, this isn't something I did on a whim.  And some of you might remember a post I did saying that I would never get a tattoo.....well I lied.  I've been thinking about this tattoo for about a year and planning what I wanted.  My tattoo is for Isabel.  Originally, I was just going to get a sun because my mom has always called me 'Sunshine' and that's what I always call Isabel, but I wanted something a little bit more meaningful.  

I was in a really bad place and doing some reaaalllllyyyy bad things before I got pregnant, but as soon as I found out that I was going to be a mother, I dropped everything.  I can't imagine where I would be today if I wouldn't have had Isabel.  That's why I decided to put the sun in front of the clouds along with 'Salio El Sol'.  The words 'Salio El Sol' are Spanish for 'the sun came out' or 'out came the sun' (and I realize that there should be an accent above the 'o' in 'salio' and you have no idea how much it bothers me to have a punctuation error like that on my body, but I'm going back in a couple months to get that fixed.)   ANYWAY.  That's why I got what I did, and I'm really glad that I did it.

It hurt really bad.  Will I ever get another one?  Maybe.  Probably.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I Have Created Life.....Again.

So a few days ago I planted some seeds.


I'm pretty excited about it, if you couldn't tell.  I've started my watermelon, tomatoes, red peppers, and tomatoes in this little tray.  In about a month I should be able to move them outside and then I'll plant the other stuff that I've got.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


I love questionnaire thingies.  Back in the days of Myspace, that was my favorite thing to do on the Bulletin Board.  I think it's cause I like talking about myself and I've always wanted to be interviewed for something, ANYTHING.  And this is as close as I can get.  I found these questions over at ... that's what it's really called.  Kendra did 11 questions and I did 7 just because there were a few questions that I was just too lazy to answer.

When was the last time you cried? Why?
I think it was approximately two weeks ago and it was because I was SO MAD that they cut the ESL tutorial class at the school that I used to work at.  I don't know if I was extra hormonal that day or something, but I was FREAKING OUT.  I bitched about it for like half an hour to Cangrejo in the car and then when he said "Why is is such a big deal?" I burst out in tears.  And then later, I cried again when I was telling my mom about it.  I'm still kind of irritated about it because it's making me question my whole future career.  I know that no matter where you work, you're going to encounter a moron or two, but I don't think I should go into education anymore, because I cannot handle being SURROUNDED by idiots.

What celebrity do people say you look most like?
Um.....really?  None.  I take that back.  This lady always tells me that I remind her of Bette Midler.  Which I am not that proud of.  I don't know if she says it because she thinks I look like her or if it has something to do with personality.  Either way, I'm either manly or obnoxious.  What do you guys think?

Ugh.  Maybe she's right, that's kind of scary.

What is your greatest accomplishment?
Um.  How about shoving a giant baby out of myself and then raising her to be pretty freaking awesome after 1-trying to break up with a psycho crack head 2-finding out I was pregnant with crack head's baby while he sat in jail awaiting deportation 3-Dropping out of my first semester of college and wasting the only money I had set aside for school 4-deciding that I actually wanted to be with said loser and spending over $200 on phone cards to call Mexico only to have my heart broken over and over and over again by the same person and 5-just being a crazy emotional pregnant wreck, basically all by myself while being judged by friends and family for getting knocked up, not by a crack head, but *GASP* before I was married!  Sad thing?  I didn't exaggerate any of that.  (I'm not trying to get a pity party or anything, I did kind of bring it on myself.  But that didn't make it suck any less.)

Morning Person? Or Night Owl?
Definitely a night owl.  Which is why I work a 5pm to 5am shift instead of having to wake up at 4 o clock in the morning for the day shift.  It's also the reason that whenever Cangrejo wakes me up he has Isabel with him as protection.

A skill you'd love to learn
I'd really be up for learning just about anything.  I LOVE learning new stuff.  However, I would like to learn how to do some more advanced sewing stuff.  I can do basic things, but I wish I could do more.  Also I wish I had the patience to bake.

What is your worst habit?
Probably eating.  Seriously.  I'm an emotional eater.  Whenever I have a high or low of any sort I feel like I HAVE to eat something.  And not anything healthy, it has to be something yummy.  Like half a bag of chocolate chips.  For real though, it's really hard to control myself especially if I'm mad.

If you could live anywhere in the world besides your current location, where would that be?
Ohhhh man.  That's a tough one.  Seriously though, one day I WILL have a house in El Salvador.  On the beach.  The house where Cangrejo's grandparent's live is technically his.  They've willed it to him so when they're gone it's ours.  The location is scary.  It's getting pretty dangerous where they live right now with gangs fighting over territory, but it's where Cangrejo lived for his whole life.  Things could be better by the time we're responsible for that house though.  People down there can really hang on for a looonnnggggg time.  His great grandma is like 96 years old and blind but from what I hear she's still really active.  Anyways, I want to have a beach house in El Salvador.....or Mexico, but I don't think Cangrejo will really go with that one.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Holy shit, people, what happened to February?  I guess I've been kind of on cruise control all month with all the crap going on.  Husband is back from California THANK GOODNESS.  He stayed long enough to get his first paycheck and then came home.  The extra money would have been good if he would have stayed, but once again, his brother was being.....himself.....and that's a problem.  I have to say though, it's good to have him back.  Now that I'm taking my credit bearing courses and cramming a 40 hour workweek into 3 nights, he's being Mr. Mom.  He would rather be working, but that's not an option right now.  Thankfully, when we get our taxes (which should be ANY DAY NOW) things are gonna be a-changin.  Yay :) more to come, hopefully sooner, rather than later.

Peace out.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


I'm just letting you all know that My Miss Priss Boutique is doing a giveaway that you can enter HERE.  It's an adorable pink lace romper with a matching headband!  She's going to do a giveaway every Sunday.

You can also check out her Facebook HERE and her Etsy shop is HERE.  She has got a lot of WAY CUTE little girl things, so go take a look around.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Weight loss crap

Weight loss Mondays are going to be shot to shit until further notice.  Why you ask? (or maybe you don't).  Isabel has finally destroyed our scale.

When my parents built our house, they thought it would be a good idea to put carpet all over in all three of the bathrooms except for one little tiny patch of tile right around the toilets and so there isn't really anywhere to put the scale in the bathroom.  Therefore, the scale is just sitting in the kitchen.  Isabel likes it because it lights up, but she also likes to throw things.  I don't know how much I weigh.  Today I tried it, but I did it a few times in a row to see if it was giving me the same weight every time.  It said 165, 169, 165.8, 165.8, 171.2.

I started a new job this weekend and a new scale is at the top of my list of things to buy once I get a couple bills out of the way.  I'm also hoping that my new job will help me lose weight, because I don't have much time to eat since I started.  I'm working weekend graveyards from 5 pm to 5 am, and then I sleep for as long as I possibly can, which isn't long with Isabel hanging around.  Thank goodness for my little brother because he helps me watch her in the morning.

Why doesn't Cangrejo help me?  He's not here :(  He got offered a job in California at the company where his brother works, and we're so desperate right now that we decided that he would take it until we can dig ourselves out of this hole and get some money saved up.  So that's what's up right now.  I hate him not being here and we're both going kind of crazy without each other (not to mention Isabel keeps asking for him and throws a fit when she can't find him) but we're thinking that this is completely necessary right now, and I'm hoping that time will go by fast and we can get it over with as soon as possible.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Baby Issues

I am having a serious baby issue.  And I'm not just talking about my uterus trying to shove out my birth control.....that came out way wrong and gross, but you know what I mean.  My uterus is feeling empty and baby hungry, but we're not trying to get pregnant because, 1-we can't afford it, and 2-we can't afford it.....and 3-we're still in my parent's basement.

I digress.

My issue is with my current baby (I guess she's a toddler now).  She used to be really good about going to bed, but lately, not so much.  She'll go to bed at about 9 and cries for a few minutes before going to sleep, but that's not the problem.  Some nights, like 3 or 4 nights a week, she wakes up at 10 or 10:30 and starts screaming.  I get her up just to make sure that she hasn't pooped, so I change her diaper, give her a few minutes to calm down and then lay her back down.  This is when the problem starts.  If she doesn't want to be back in bed she starts screaming again.  I would just let her cry herself to sleep, but she throws up.  And it's not like she cries so much that she pukes.  It started that way, and then she figured out that she can get out of bed sooner if she gags herself to make herself throw up.  I know my daughter, and I know what her fake cough/she's gagging herself sounds like.  At that point I end up running to her room and getting her out so that I can carry her to the sink or toilet before she throws up in her crib.

This process, ladies and gentlemen, is getting ridiculous.  I know that she's doing it on purpose because she doesn't want to be in bed, but I have no idea what to do.  I'm not gonna just let her scream and cry until she goes to sleep because, obviously, I'm not going to let her sleep in her own throw up.  Ugh, I just want to rip my hair out when she starts doing that, and I can't handle it.  Thank goodness for my husband, because he cleans it up off of the floor or washed out the sink (because I would throw up if I had to.)  I can handle washing it off her face and hands and changing her pajamas, but then I have to hand her off to him, because it irritates me so much that she does that.  I know that this is a serious problem on my part.  I know that I shouldn't feel like my head is going to explode every time this happens, because I know that she's little and doesn't 100% understand that what she's doing is bad.  

Ugh, I just don't know what to do, and I just needed to vent, because we just went through this again half an hour ago, and I need to relax and get some of it off my chest before I go to bed.

If you have any ideas on how to fix this, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My First Tutorial!

Yay for my first tutorial ever!  
Me and my mom got Isabel this dress at Walmart.  I love zebra print, but as cute as I thought this dress was, I thought it could use some snazzing up, and I figured I would show you how I did it!

 First I just got some ribbon that I had laying around.  It started out at about 3 feet long, but I ended up trimming it at the end.  Fold it in half so that it's equal length on both sides and then pin the middle of the ribbon to the middle of the front side of the dress.  When you pin it, put your hand in the middle of the dress so that you don't pin the front to the back.

 When you put it on your sewing machine, (or if you're crazy and decide to sew it by hand) make sure you don't sew the front to the back.  I just made two lines of straight stitching and made sure not to do it too long, because since the dress is made of stretchy material and the ribbon isn't, you could end up busting the stitches if the dress ever stretches out to much.

 I bought these two little ribbon flowers (or you could make a bow or something) and then pinned them on where I wanted them. (Again, make sure you don't pin them to both sides of the dress.

I used a small embroidery hoop to keep the fabric tight and to keep the ribbon from getting in the way and then I used an embroidery needle and regular sewing thread to sew on the flowers.  Make sure that you sew close to the middle and underneath the top layers of the flowers so that the stitches don't show.  (AND DON'T SEW THE BACK OF THE DRESS TO THE FRONT)
Then just take the embroidery hoop, and voila!
Here's the front.

And here's the back.
This is when I trimmed the ribbon, because I could see how long it was on her so now it's actually about the same length as the dress.

I hope it all made sense!  I'm hoping to do some more tutorials eventually, but this won't be a craft blog by any means, because I am not that motivated.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Weight Loss Monday

Here we go!

Starting Weight: 176.4
Previous Weight: 176.4
Current Weight:172.2

That's 4 pounds lost in 1 week people!  Now, I'm assuming I'll slow down a little and just lose 1 or 2 pounds a week.  I think my body is just in a little bit of shock right now.  I've basically just cut down my serving sizes and quit having seconds, when it comes to food.  I'm also trying to find alternatives for things.  I haven't really found any yet.......but I'm looking.  I try to drink at least 72 ounces of water a day, which is really pretty easy.  I usually drink more because I drink it whenever I get the urge to snack (which is a lot).  This last week I've done at least 30 minutes of cardio for 4 days, which is a big thing for me, AND I did most of it on the treadmill, which is quickly becoming the bane of my existence.  Everything hurts after.  My feet, ankles, knees, and hips are taking a beating, which is sad since I'm only 20 years old.  I also do some stretching before and after I run which helps the pain and feels great, and then I do some push ups which is probably the hardest part right now.  Every night before I go to bed I do 75 crunches and then I do 50 as soon as I get up in the morning.  I'm already noticing that the earlier I work out the better, and then I feel great for the rest of the day.

I'm also trying to find yummy, healthy recipes for my picky self that my family will enjoy too.  For lunch a few times I've eaten 1 serving of wheat thins with a can of the chicken that you use for chicken salad.  It's not as plain as it sounds, but I got the idea from the teacher that I used to work for.  She had it for lunch all the time, and she looks fantastic.  

I also love my mini Crock Pot.  I mix 1 small can of tomato sauce, 1 can of black beans, 1 can of chicken, and about 2 cups of corn that I froze this summer.  I have put cheese in it before, which was AMAZING, but I try not to put very much because I know that cheese isn't the best thing to be eating all the time.  I think it's delicious and it lasts me about 3 days because no one else likes it.  I just put the leftovers in the fridge and microwave it.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Back to School

Ladies and gentlemen, I am back to being a student!!!  I'm freaking excited about it.  Honestly, I love school and I love learning stuff.  I'm not going back to USU yet :( but I'm taking online classes through University of Phoenix for the time being and it's great!  I started last Monday so I'm only a week into it and I'm just doing kind of an orientation class right now, but it really is going great.

My plan for right now is to just get through getting my associates degree, which will take about a year and a half, and then I'll see where we're at in life to decide what I'll go into first.  Yeah, first.  I really love business stuff and so one of my options is getting a degree in entrepreneur stuff.  Why that above other business degrees?  The husband loves construction and one day wants to start his own company.  I don't know much about construction, but I'm slowly learning from him, and he doesn't know a lot about business.  Together we're unstoppable, or something like that.  

HOWEVER, my dream is to become a teacher, and he totally supports me with that.  That's why I say, we'll just take this a step at a time, and see where we're at when I'm done with my associates.  From there, I'll decide what to do first, or if I'm even going to get a business agree, since you don't really need one to start a business, anyway.
So, that's what's up right now!  Come back tomorrow because I'm weighing in and I'm hoping it will be FANTABULOUS!!!

Friday, January 6, 2012

New Year, No Excuses

So, I'm sitting here dying on my couch.  Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be fine.  I'm just finishing the episode of Gangland that I started watching while I was on the treadmill.  I can't get enough of this show, I don't know why this shit fascinates me so much.  I'm afraid to go shower right now because I don't want to fall and bang my head on the bath tub.

So I took a picture of my fat self.......and it's not going to be put on this blog.  I have it saved on my computer, but I can't bring myself to put it up for people to see, because it completely grosses me out.  MAYBE after I lose some weight, I'll put it up with the after picture.  I probably will, but right now, I cannot let people see it.  I even have it hidden on the computer so that my husband won't see it.  Anyways, I made a list of things to help me and I made copies of it.  There's a copy in my room, bathroom, living room, and a shorter version in my car.

  • Take water everywhere.
  • No more fast food.
  • No soda.
  • Drink a glass of water before every meal.
  • Do cardio 20 minutes a day at least 5 days a week.
  • Keep serving sizes small.
  • Good posture all the time.
  • Substitute sweets.
  • Don't skip breakfast.
  • Eat slowly.
  • Drink lots of water.
  • Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.
  • Lower salt intake.
  • Avoid stress.
  • Only weigh in once a week or once every two weeks.
Honestly the hardest part of this is not skipping breakfast, but I'm working on it.

I'm also looking for a doctor.  All I have is my OB/GYN and I need to go see just like, a general health doctor.  Two years ago when my dad had triple bypass surgery, his doctor recommended that my brother and I get our cholesterol checked because, so far, bad cholesterol and heart disease have been genetic.  I didn't get mine done because I was pregnant and they said it wasn't really accurate then, so I need to get on it.  My little brother got his checked when he was 17 and had the cholesterol of about a 35 year old man.  So far I'm doing pretty well.

Starting weight: 176.4 (and I'm only 5'3" on a tall day, you do the math)
Starting pant size: 11.....a very tight 11

I've also challenged my husband.  He made a huge mistake the other day.  He said "You've been 'gordita' (chubby) for your whole life, so maybe you're meant to be chubby.  Some people are just like that."
I didn't talk to him for like 2 hours.  I said that I didn't think he could lose weight either.  When he was 17 he weighed about 140 lbs and the other day he weighed in at 220.  THAT'S 80 POUNDS.  So I challenged him.  He says he's going to lose 20 pounds by the end of February.  I told him that I didn't think that was really healthy, but that's what he says he's going to do, so we'll see.  I'll keep you updated.  

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Mer-Chris-Hap-New-Yea-January...or something

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and sorry for neglecting my blog and bla bla bla bla bla.  I had a lot of stuff to write about in December and I didn't because I was like a monster bitch for most of the month so I mostly sulked around and made people want to punch me in the kidneys.  I haven't got a paycheck since the last day of November and that check came out to a whopping 13 cents.  I have applied for probably close to 20 jobs and I've had 2 interviews.  I got hired at a temp service, and I haven't had any jobs from that yet.  I got hired as a substitute teacher, but I can't start until they have orientation and after 3 weeks they have yet to inform me when that is even though I've been calling about every other day.  

I'm getting off subject...I was bitchy in December because we were broke and Christmas was coming and it was supposed to be Isabel's first awesome Christmas, because, let's be honest, a baby's first Christmas is not that exciting. I made about $140 dollars helping this lady wrap her Christmas presents, putting up Christmas lights, and organizing her file cabinet.  That was enough to put gas in my car and get a few presents for family.  Cangrejo and I didn't get anything for each other and the few days leading up to Christmas were a billion times worse with my craziness than the rest of the month.  Why?  Cause I was feeling crappy that I couldn't get my husband anything and that I couldn't get Isabel everything that I wanted to.  We got her a Dora tricycle, which she loves, and thanks to my mom she got a few other things from Santa.  

Christmas Eve came and I just wanted to roll into a ball and cry my eyes out.  Isabel had a bit of a cold and was not cooperating with bed time.  We finally got her to bed at about 11:50 and no sooner had we gotten ourselves ready for bed and the doorbell rang.  I looked out on the porch and there were three bags sitting there.  There was a cherry pie, a bag of oranges, and then a few gifts for me, Cangrejo, and Isabel and they were all labeled 'From Santa'.  I don't know who did it, but it must have been someone that knows us pretty well, because I hadn't really told anyone about our 'situation' (I hate that word).  I was so, so grateful, and I cried for.........a while.  It also made me feel like a big jerk for feeling so bad about not getting presents for ourselves and it helped remind me that I had other things to be grateful for.  

We might not have much to call 'ours'.  I'm still driving my parents car that they've been letting me use since I was 16.  I have a baby and have been married for over a year and I'm still living in my parent's basement.  But some people have a lot less.  Some people don't have transportation or anywhere to live or anyone that will buy their baby diapers when they're a few dollars short.  A lot of women are raising they're babies by themselves or with men that treat them badly or that don't love them, and I have someone that is always there for me and that is a wonderful father to my daughter.

I know I'm kind of going on and on about this, but I needed to let it out, and I hope that the rest of you had wonderful holidays with your families.  I hope the new year brings great things for all of you, and honestly, I hope there's some great things for me, too.

Isabel thought it was great that neighbors kept bringing plates of goodies to the house, and we had to keep them away from the edge of the table or else this happened.

Oh...and we're still really short on's weird, but I like it.