Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Shakira vs. Tabernacle Choir

Sooo I didn't post for my weight loss shit this week, and this is why: I was to busy busting my ass at dance practice.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I will be dancing to Waka Waka by Shakira at the USU Freedom Fire fireworks show at Romney Stadium this Friday.  A friend from the university was in charge of the group of girls dancing do it and out of 20 girls, like 14 of them dropped out of the dance.  Pussies.  So I got recruited Sunday night (because, not to brag or anything, I really know how to shake it)  I find it kind of ironic that we're dancing to a song that's originally in Spanish, about the World Cup tournament in Africa, that's sung by a Colombian/Lebanese woman at a 4th of July celebration, but whatever.  Welcome to the melting pot that is the United States.

Believe it or not, I do have quite a bit of dancing experience.  I danced from the time I was 4-11 on just a performance team and then when I was 12 I started dancing at a competitive level.  I quit when I was 14 because my parents couldn't pay for it anymore. (Poop).  So the last time I performed in front of a lot of people was 6 years ago and I miss is like crazy.  And the most I danced for before was maybe like a few hundred, but Friday night, they're estimating about 10,000.  Am I scared???  Not even a little bit.  I'm more like. . . . .psyched!!!  I think I'm driving Cangrejo crazy because I'm so freaking excited and I dance around the house constantly singing the song (actually I'm pretty sure he likes the booty shaking.)  So yeah, in short, I'm happy and my body is exhausted from practicing.  But it will be so, so worth it.

Here's the song for those of you that haven't heard it.  This is the English version.

OH YEAH!  I almost forgot, that at the end, all of the performers are supposed to take the field and dance together to This Land is My Land.  Nothing choreographed. . . . .just freestyling it to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  I don't really know how that's all gonna turn out but. . . . . .whatever blows their skirts up I guess.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Update on the Gold Cup games!!!

USA beat Panama (Yes!)
Mexico beat Honduras (Ohh)

So Saturday night Mexico is playing against USA in the final!  Let me tell you people, I'm a little obsessed with almost anything that has to do with Mexico.  Seriously, I think I was born in the wrong country.  I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I actually convinced a girl once that I WAS IN FACT Mexican, but I was white because of a pigment disorder.  Yeah, dumb girl believed THAT big fat lie.  Then she proceeded to tell all her little friends and they just looked at her like she had told them that last summer she had a rendezvous with E.T.

Now I don't want people jumping all over me saying that I'm un-American because of my little obsession.  I am VERY proud to be an American.  I support our troops, I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear the song 'God Bless the USA', and I look forward to every August so that I can have a fair burger and go to a rodeo.

Having said that...my husband is CONVINCED that I'm going to be cheering for Mexico.  He knows that I love Mexico and he despises that.  I'm actually going to cheer for the US.  Why?  Cause it's my country.  I was born and raised here and I love it.  I don't like some of the things that are going on and I don't think our leaders are necessarily doing a great job, and even though so many people HATE Americans, I'm pretty damn proud to be one.  I firmly believe that this is the greatest country in the world and we have the potential to be even greater than we are now if some of our country's leaders could get their heads out of each others asses.

Also, during the games that I've watched during the Gold Cup, I've become very unimpressed with the Mexican players.  First of all, the referees seem to baby and cater to them, and they use that to their advantage.  Second, they're EXTREMELY cocky.  I understand celebrating when you win and feeling bad when you lose, but they're bad losers AND bad winners.  To top it all off, rumor has it that several of the players are using steroids.......and no one is doing anything about it.  If it was another team, the players would be suspended until another decision could be made.  None of the Mexican players are being punished and I don't think they're even being looked into.  Now I'm no expert, and I probably don't know all of the details, but. . . . . . .I'm just going to guess that some of the team's owners are in cahoots with some of the drug cartels. . . . .and maybe that's why nothing is being done. . . . .but that's just a guess.

ANYWAYS!  I'm looking forward to the game, and I'll letch-ya'll know how it goes...whether you care or not.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Mambo Number 50!!!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, this is post numero 50 for Mental Traffic. . . . .there's not really that much traffic, but I think it's a great name and it has some significance for me.  Since I've made it to 50, I feel like I should set a goal or something.  Having said that, I noticed that for the last three months I've put up nine posts every month, so my goal is to put up at least 11 posts a month!!!  (Baby steps, people, baby steps.)

Seeing as it is Weightloss Monday (I'm still trying to think of a better poopy sounding name for it), I'll share with you that I'm still a fat ass.  It's starting to get to me.  Even my fingers are fat.  When I got married my ring barely stayed on and now I can hardly get it off.  This is a problem.  I am trying to walk every day though.  Today I went for two walks and they were so very different from each other.  Same route.  Different speeds.
First I went for a walk with Cangrejo and Isabel.  It was a moderate speed and I got a little bit more than toasted.  Later in the evening I went for another walk, but this time with my dad and Isabel.  Every since my dad had a triple bypass last year, his exercising habits have change a lot.  When he walks, he really hoofs it.  My short little midget legs were just keeping up with his.  (And even though he's about three.....okay four inches taller than me, my legs are about an inch longer.  We've measured.)  I have to say I enjoyed the burn in my calves, but I didn't really enjoy the chaffing going on between my thighs.  That shit has got to stop.

Enough of that sadness.

Since we're on number 50, and that's exciting, I want you to all feel as happy as I do (gag).  Watch this video.  Even if you don't like the music in it, watch it for the drunk guys that are dancing.  Keep an eye on the one in the khaki pants, he's my favorite.  And watch what he does with his belt.  I never, ever, ever get sick of this video.  My students showed it to me a couple months ago, and I still watch it repeatedly.  So, enjoy.  It's only 2 minutes of your life, and it is definitely worth the sacrifice.  Especially if you're having a bad day.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Awesome post, turned lame, and then turned half-decent...

Dear cyber-buddy blogger people:

I had a beyond awesome post planned for yesterday.  Unfortunately my plan was foiled because some dumb ass at some internet company or something clipped some wires yesterday morning and my internet was down until this morning.  You would think that I would put up that awesome post today except for my memory sucks.  (No thanks to some dumb stuff I did in high school AND I'm pretty sure that 'forgetfulness hormone' that you get when you're pregnant is hanging around still.)  I wanted to do a vlog for El Dìa "E" that I heard about over at Ezzy's blog as well as a few other places and tell you about mi palabra favorita en español ( my favorite word in Spanish).  All day long I was trying to think of what word is my favorite, and I finally thought of one.....but now I've forgotten which one it was.  Anyway!!!

We're down to the final games of la copa de oro (The Gold Cup).  Today we went to Cangrejo's boss's house to watch this game:

Mexico 2-1 Guatemala

HONESTLY, I probably would have been cheering for Mexico, but I like rooting for the underdog.  Plus, everyone there was either from Guatemala or El Salvador, except for me and Isabel, and Central Americans stick together so I figured it was in my best interest to cheer for Guatemala.

Tomorrow it's a double-header!!!


Of course I'll be the only one out of my friends rooting for the Good Old U.S. of A. because Honduras is in Central America, and as I said, they stick together.  After that game it's 

El Salvador

Let's face it people.  El Salvador's national team, is not the best, but they can put up a good fight if they really want to.  I'm pretty sure Panama is considered Central America, but we don't know anyone from there so we don't have to worry about it.  Plus, since Cangrejo is from El Salvador, we would be cheering for them, anyway.  If USA and El Salvador win tomorrow, they'll be playing against each other to see who will play Mexico in the final game.  Ladies and Gentlemen, that would be one intense game.  If that happens, I will be cheering for USA, not because I was born here and it's my country, but because it will make things very interesting.  So I'm really hoping that happens.   And!  AND!  If El Salvador just happened to win and then actually BEAT MEXICO (which I'm doubting.  Just being realistic here.)  I will have A LOT of drunk Guanacos (Salvadorean) and Chapines (Guatemalans) on my hands.

Haha.  Cangrejo keeps peeking over my shoulder as I write this, and I think he's really excited that I'm taking more of an interest in soccer.  Let me tell you, watching little kids play soccer, could make anyone hate it, but if you watch a professional game (or even just adults that are half-decent) it's pretty awesome.  If I could get enough people interested, I would start a women's league here.  Unfortunately, due to cultural stuff, I just don't think it's going to happen.

This is how it goes with the people we hang out with:  The men work, drink, and play soccer.  The women work (some of them), take care of a billion babies(or walk around incubating them), and cook.  And on the weekends the men play soccer and then everyone drinks, dances, and eats.  Not that I'm complaining.  I like it.  And OBVIOUSLY I'm a gabacha (white American), so if I'm not cooking pupusas all the time it's no biggy.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Monday, June 13, 2011

Poop on weightloss.

Welcome to stupid ass weightloss Monday.  I'm becoming kind of bitter about the whole thing.  Probably because I'm still fat and I can't blame anyone but myself.  (And my mom because she keeps making really yummy things.)

P.S. I ordered my new shirt from surropa.com.  I am not being endorsed in anyway and all opinions are my own. 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Some pictures to hold you over...

I feel like I need to blog but I don't really know what to tell you.  So until I can think of something awesome, here are some pictures :)  Ignore Cangrejo's haircut.  I cut it tooo short.  He cried.

We took Isabel swinging :)

I thought it would freak her out, but she liked it.

She didn't really care for the slides though.

We were driving down the road and she started screaming.  She had put her sippy cup on her head and she couldn't get it down haha.

And this is what the little angel did a couple days ago.  This is a picture of the contents of the garbage in my brothers bathroom after they were thrown in the toilet.  Via Isabel.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Sweet Summertime

Ladies and gentlemen, it is finally summer in northern Utah!  (At least for today it was, tomorrow could be different.)  So we took advantage of it!  Isabel, my parents, and I sat outside for a looongg time.  I played with Isabel until it was time for her nap and then I sat under a big umbrella and listened to music and read a book for almost 2 hours.  It was A-MAZ-ING
I kind of have an issue though..... at the beginning of every summer, I put myself through serious amounts of pain in order to get the slightest amount of color in my legs.  My arms toast pretty nicely, my legs on the other hand.....not so much.  After sitting in the sun for about an hour this is what my legs looked like...

That's it.  Why did only that part burn?  I don't know.  There was no shade, I didn't cross my legs, nothing.  My legs just hate my guts and want to be alabaster forever.

This was before Isabel's bath time last night.  I'm teaching her to take cheesy photos in the mirror.
(And yes, we have Labradors on our bathroom wallpaper.  Just more evidence of how redneck my family actually is.)

Can you see the tan lines on Isabel's arms?  That was last night.  You should see her now that we spent more time outside.  And she was even wearing sunscreen.

I forgot to tell you last week that my little brother went to PROM!  He has been in love with this girl since like 8th grade and they've been friends since they were like 5.  Does she like him too?  Good question.  I think YES because why else would she be hanging around?  He hasn't even kissed her.  Not even for prom.  (We give him a lot of shit about it)  And I know he's not just lying about it because he's the worst liar in the world.  If he had kissed her, I would know.  (Besides the fact that her mom and our mom are best friends and she has 3 sisters, so if he had kissed her, word would have gotten around by now.)
Did I mention she even goes fishing with him?!  He bought her a fishing license for Valentine's Day.  Romantic right?  Most girls would have given up by now.  My brother is a really nice dude, but he's a weird one.  I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this goes though...

That's all for now, people!