He must have remembered my little brother has my old cell phone so he sent him a text trying to find me. I decided I'd give him a chance at being a part of Isabel's life because I know he wants to be, but I know him well enough to know that he's not going to act on it unless I open the door to it. If that makes sense. So yeah, drama, drama, drama all week long. In his defense, he didn't know I was pregnant when he
Do I miss him? Yes.
Do I care about him? Of course. He's the father of my child. He gave me the best gift EVER.
But do I want do be with him? No. I don't trust him.
Do I want to move from northern Utah to a state in Mexico that is run mostly by drug cartels and a corrupt government? Where kidnappings, be-headings, and mutulations happen several times a week? No. I do not.
If he came back here would I leave my husband? No way.
This is what I've been trying to get across. I think he finally got it today when I made him hang up on me. This is how it went:
Him: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Going to Jackie's birthday party.
Him: Are you taking my daughter?
Him: Do you take her everywhere?
Me: Sometimes if I go out my mom watches her.
Him: You shouldn't do that.
Me: Look, when you help take care of her, get up at night with her, buy her formula, clothes, and diapers, clean up puke, poop, and boogers, then you can help me decide if I'm going to leave her with a babysitter once in a while so that I can have some 'me time'. If all you've done to benefit her was donate your sperm, you don't get to be part of the decision making.
That's the translated version, because it's a whole lot funner to bitch at people in Spanish, and I've found it to be more affective.
I don't know how much of the last part he heard because the phone started beeping, telling me the call had been ended. I felt kind of bad, because I'm sure he feels like shit now, but then I think about those times when I was pregnant when I felt alone and abandoned and worthless, and I feel a little better.