Friday, April 22, 2011

Baby Mama Drama. Only backwards.

I realize I haven't posted in about a week, and for that, I apologize, even though I kind of don't really give a shit. This last week has been absolutely horrible!!!  You know how guys complain about Baby Mama Drama?  Yeah, well, this week has been all about Baby Daddy Bull Shit for me.  BAH!  I haven't talked to him since June of last year aside from a message that he sent me a week before I got married in October, and then when I told him I was getting married I didn't here from him again.

Until Monday.

He must have remembered my little brother has my old cell phone so he sent him a text trying to find me.  I decided I'd give him a chance at being a part of Isabel's life because I know he wants to be, but I know him well enough to know that he's not going to act on it unless I open the door to it.  If that makes sense.  So yeah, drama, drama, drama all week long.  In his defense, he didn't know I was pregnant when he got deported left, and it was pretty impossible for him to come back after he found out that I was.  Also, I don't expect child support from someone that earns less than $10 a day.  And it's not like he's a lazy ass.  But the difference in currency is a little ridiculous.  ANYWAYS!
Do I miss him?  Yes.
Do I care about him?  Of course.  He's the father of my child.  He gave me the best gift EVER.
But do I want do be with him?  No.  I don't trust him.
 Do I want to move from northern Utah to a state in Mexico that is run mostly by drug cartels and a corrupt government?  Where kidnappings, be-headings, and mutulations happen several times a week?  No.  I do not.
If he came back here would I leave my husband?  No way.

This is what I've been trying to get across.  I think he finally got it today when I made him hang up on me.  This is how it went:

Him: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Going to Jackie's birthday party.
Him: Are you taking my daughter?
Me: Yes.
Him: Do you take her everywhere?
Me: Sometimes if I go out my mom watches her.
Him: You shouldn't do that.
Me: Look, when you help take care of her, get up at night with her, buy her formula, clothes, and diapers, clean up puke, poop, and boogers, then you can help me decide if I'm going to leave her with a babysitter once in a while so that I can have some 'me time'.  If all you've done to benefit her was donate your sperm, you don't get to be part of the decision making.

That's the translated version, because it's a whole lot funner to bitch at people in Spanish, and I've found it to be more affective.

I don't know how much of the last part he heard because the phone started beeping, telling me the call had been ended.  I felt kind of bad, because I'm sure he feels like shit now, but then I think about those times when I was pregnant when I felt alone and abandoned and worthless, and I feel a little better.


  1. Don't give him the time of day. I don't care if he only makes $1/hour- that money isn't for you, it's for Isabel. And until he can provide you SOMETHING= he gets no access. End of story. You are a lot nicer than I ever would be. I grew up with a single mom who didn't get a dime and we went hungry because my deadbeat dad did nothing for us, except the random kidnapping attempts. And even as an adult he has tried to contact me and my answer has always been, "get current on the back child support then we'll talk" because he owes it.

  2. aww girl, please dnt even let him bother u. You are the one that had to carry your baby for 9 months and go through labor ALONE. He doesnt have a right to tell u that u cnt have some "you" time.