Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My Genius Husband

This last week has been absolutely NUTS!  Mostly thanks to my genius husband.....

He's wasn't winking at the camera!  His eye was swollen shut!  It was kind of blue and purple too, but since his skin is so dark it doesn't really show up on camera.

Tuesday at work they called me to the office over the intercom.  The secretary told me that my mom was at the hospital with my husband and that I needed to call them.  Duh, I needed to call them!  So I call my mom, I can here Cangrejo MOANING in the background and all I really understood was that he drove the 4-wheeler to my mom's work and he crashed and they were in the emergency room.  Fantastic.

So I get to the hospital and his face is all bloody and his eye is GINORMOUS and he keeps mumbling about how it hurts and he keeps asking me for Isabel.

This is what happened:  He had the day off from work and he got bored so he thought it would be a good idea to go on a 4-wheeler ride.  (Now let me make this clear...our 4-wheeler isn't like one of those little, light, sporty ones that are made for like sand dunes, and trick riding, and stuff like that.  It's a Honda 4x4 Rancher, so it's really heavy duty.  Heavy duty like, my dad uses it to haul dead animals out of the mountains and to plow sometimes up to 5 feet of snow.)  Turns out, it wasn't such a fabulous idea!  He was going up a hill of dirt and the wheeler didn't make it and flipped backwards on top of him (not wearing a helmet).  One side of the handlebars hit him in the eye and the other side hit him in the chest causing the handlebar to BEND IN HALF.  He said he thinks he passed out for a few minutes and when he woke up there was blood GUSHING OUT OF HIS FACE!  He couldn't see out of one eye so OBVIOUSLY he starts freaking out because he thinks that his eye has fallen out of his head.  So thank goodness for adrenaline he somehow flips the 4-wheeler back over and drives it about a mile back to the house.  He tries calling me and my mom on our cell phones and neither one of us answer.  He went to my aunt's house next door and no one was home, so what does he do?  He gets BACK ON THE 4-WHEELER AND DRIVES 2 MILES TO MY MOM'S WORK.  He had to go on the highway to get there.  So he gets to my mom's work (she works at an elementary school) but he couldn't remember what room she was in.  His English is no bueno, but he goes to the office and asked for my mom by name.  So the secretary (who is a really scary lady) called to my mom's room and told her to come to the office.  Picture this: Hispanic man, one eye swollen shut, clothing torn, blood all over his face, can't really speak English, and this lady gets an attitude with him asking "How exactly do you know her?  Why do you need to talk to her?"  My mom gets to the office and he hugs her.  My mom tells her that he's her son-in-law and the lady suddenly changes her attitude, "Oh, would you like me to call 911?"  Uhh.....no thanks.

So my mom took him to the hospital, they got hold of me, and I got there.

They came to get him for a CT scan and x-rays of his chest.  Want to know something really funny?  I can only share this because 1-he doesn't read my blog and 2-even if he did he couldn't understand it anyways.  They injected him with some liquid when they did the CT scan.  The nurse explained to him that he would get a sensation like jumping into a jacuzzi and that it might feel like he wet his pants, but not to worry, because he wouldn't.  So they injected and he told me that his body was getting really warm and then all of a sudden he exclaims "AY! MIS HUEVOS!"  Which roughly translates to "OH! MY BALLS!"  I would have completely lost it at this point, but he was genuinely freaking out so I had to just try to calm him down.  I'm cracking up now just thinking about it.  SO we were there a while longer while the looked at the CT scan and then they sent us home with a pain prescription and an antibiotic (because he hadn't had a tetanus shot in like 8 years).  

Now get this, we had been home for TWO HOURS and the hospital called to inform us that they FORGOT to take x-rays of his chest and we needed to go back right away.  He had a CHEST CONTUSION and they FORGOT to take an X-RAY of his CHEST.  So we took him back to the freakin hospital and they took x-rays of his chest.  Says there's nothing wrong (thank goodness) and not to be alarmed if he coughs up blood for a few days (which he did.)

Thursday we went to a PLASTIC SURGEON (OMG I never thought I would go to talk to a plastic surgeon about anything).  Here's the low down.  Usually, you break the bone that's under your eye.  My talented husband broke the bone that's in between his eye socket and his nasal cavity and the muscle that moves his eye is in the place where the bone is supposed to be.  Fabulous.  If they operated they could do damage to other muscles and his eyelids could go all droopy SO we're hoping it will heal itself up.  Until then, we have to go back to the plastic surgeon once a week to check on progress and he's out of work for a while because he can't get dust in his eye or do to much heavy lifting.  Hey, doctor, this shit is gonna be expensive!  So yesterday I gave my 2 weeks notice :(  As bad as I don't want to be a temp and work in a factory, I'll be making more than double what I'm making now.  Poop.  At least he'll be home and I won't have to pay a babysitter :)


  1. LOVING the blog and the song that plays when i get on the page...what song is that!?


  2. Thanks!

    It's called Danza Kuduro by Don Omar feat. Lucenzo

  3. Crap that seriously bites. Hope he gets better soon.